
Well it's been about a month since the split with SC and it's be a learning experience over all. I've learned so much about myself and God has truly revealed things to me!!! I've realized that God has been trying to get my attention for some time and this break up definitely got my attention!
I've realized that I made my relationship with SC my number one priority and I allowed the mode of our relationship to determined my happiness...for example, the days when we were on good terms, I would be "happy" and the days that we were on bad terms..I would be miserable.
Even though I miss him dearly, I'm happy and at peace with myself. I've can finally say that I don't need a man to make me happy!!! But I do want a man in my life to complement me!(hopefully sooner then later!) This is one of the greatest lessons that I've learned during my alone time with God.
I've also connected with God in a whole new way! I can truly say he's the lover of my soul, I talk to him like he's my homeboy and husband all in one! I once heard that the way you treat the Lord while you're single is how you'll treat your husband when you're married because the bible says we are the brides of Christ. So I've definitely been working on communicating with the Lord more and appreciating his presence more.
My family is really hurt and upset about the whole thing, my parents and siblings love SC so much and they're just so upset that he hurt me like this and they said that if we do get back together that they won't give us their "blessings" until SC goes to counseling and gets some help with his whole childhood and family issues...because when he spoke to my dad, he told him that he was afraid that Him and I would end up like his parents (and that's just chaotic!)...so even though we're not together, I don't want my family to hate him! But I know that they want the best for me...hmmmm
It's crazy, I still love this boy sooo much! I never realized how much I did till recently...my thoughts are filled with memories of the good times and bad times and I find myself asking "Where did we go wrong?". Then I think about how he treated me like crap at times and I hate his guts!!!
His mom is so upset! I told her what happened last week, cuz for some odd reason he didn't tell her or most of his friends! Anywayz she got so emotional and couldn't even talk anymore...she kept saying that she loved me so much and didn't understand why we couldn't make it work. I felt a lil sad afterwards because our families have gotten so close over the yrs...her and my parents speak often (while his father is MIA!)
But at the end of the day...I know that this will all work out for my good and be a testimony...so as I wait on the Lord to perfect everything that concerns me...I gonna prepare myself for what he has in store and work on making myself whole with God's help of course!
P.S. About the outdated neighbor gist!...it's so old now...but my neighbor is from cross river state in Naija and I first saw him while moving in, he was outside our building on the phone while being barefooted and I thought to myself..."what the!" After that I didn't see much of him, then one evening while I was going to a wedding he started a convo and basically said something like "You that'a always staying in your house" (Like ummm...where else should I be!)..."You should come and see me, just knock my door anytime, ok?...when are you coming back"...while I was walking away from him and nodding my head, he just kept staring at me with a smile on his face. Smh...come to your apt and do kini??? Rubbish!...he stays right across the hall from me...
P.P.S I've been getting a lot of attention from guys lately, and I don't know how to handle it...I suddenly feel "shy" and avoid eye contact, etc.
P.P.P.S I've been seeing SC around frequently and it's weird, we just avoid each other...we hardly say hi to one another and my friend and sis stated that they've seen him staring at me a few times...maybe he's finally realized what he's lost or just reminiscing...hmmm
P.P.P.S I'm trying to get into grad school and I've been studying for the GRE..mayne, I feel so slow ooo! I can't remember basic math help!!!
Well that's all folks! Love u all...have a great week!
xoxo

